A Harvard psychologist says people judge you based on 2 criteria when they first meet you
哈佛心理學:兩個標準決定你的第一印象
People size you up in seconds, but what exactly are they evaluating?
通常,人們在第一次見面的幾秒鐘內就會對你做出評價,那么,他們到底會對你作何評價呢?
Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy has been studying first impressions alongside fellow psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick for more than 15 years, and has discovered patterns in these interactions.
In her new book, "Presence," Cuddy says people quickly answer two questions when they first meet you:
她在新書《Presence》中稱,人們第一次見到你的時候會快速確定兩個問題:
Can I trust this person?
這是個值得信任的人嗎?
Can I respect this person?
這是個值得尊重的人嗎?
Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence respectively, and ideally you want to be perceived as having both.
心理學家將它們分別歸為熱情和能力的評判尺度,理想情況下你會希望在這兩方面都得到肯定。
Interestingly, Cuddy says that most people, especially in a professional context, believe that competence is the more important factor. After all, they want to prove that they are smart and talented enough to handle your business.
But in fact warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people evaluate you. "From an evolutionary perspective," Cuddy says, "it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust."
Cuddy’s new book explores how to feel more confident.
卡迪的新書探討了如何讓自己變得更有信心。
While competence is highly valued, Cuddy says it is evaluated only after trust is established. And focusing too much on displaying your strength can backfire.
Cuddy says MBA interns are often so concerned about coming across as smart and competent that it can lead them to skip social events, not ask for help, and generally come off as unapproachable.
These overachievers are in for a rude awakening when they don’t get the job offer because nobody got to know and trust them as people.
當這些杰出人士找不到工作的時候他們才如夢初醒,因為沒有人了解和信任他們。
"If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative," Cuddy says.
"A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat."